Suicide is one of the top ten causes of death in the industrialized world.

For every person that completes a suicide, there are eight to ten who attempt and fail.

More women attempt suicide and fail (3 to1), men complete suicide more often.

Among college students, suicide is the third leading cause of death.

Suicide is twice as likely in college students than in non-students of the same age.

In later adulthood men outnumber women in committing suicide 10 to 1.

Divorced and widowed persons have a much higher rate than married persons.

There are approximately 250,000 attempts at suicide every year in the US.

Suicidal acts are usually triggered by a recent experience of loss or failure that leaves the person feeling hopeless and helpless. Feeling helpless and not feeling things will get better in the future is a typical suicidal mindset. Suicidal persons also tend to be inflexible in their approach to their problems. The self-destructive solution is the only one they see.

Up to 80% of all who kill themselves are depressed. Paradoxically, persons who are severely depressed are at greater risk for suicide when the depression lifts. This is so because while in the depth of depression they are unable to act on the wish to kill themselves. They don’t have enough energy until the depression lifts.

Early theories stated that suicide was rage turned inward. That the person was unable to show anger to the proper target and ended up taking it out on themselves. Later theories suggest three broad motivational categories of suicide. One is the wish to kill, which includes hate, aggression, blame, and a wish for revenge. Second is the wish to be killed, which includes guilt, submission, and self-blame. Third is the wish to die, which is characterized by helplessness, discouragement and despair and usually a complete lack of self-worth.

Risk factors include: loss of loved ones, job, status, etc.; previous attempts; well thought out plans of suicide; easy access to lethal weapons; lack of self esteem; disharmony at home; and chronic illness or pain. Risk rises when there is a family history of suicide or emotional problems and suicide becomes more likely with increasing age.

Also watch out for signs like giving away prized possessions, lack of concern for favorite people or pastimes, loss of appetite, no concern for the future, noticeable decline in personal hygiene and sudden personality and mood changes.

PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT THEORIES

In psychological development, there are many factors that may come into play in the face of suicide. While these issues are not the cause of suicide, they may give insight into the mindset of a suicidal person. The most common underlying similarity between suicide victims, is a lack of self-control in extreme situation. This lack of self-control is thought to begin in early childhood, maybe as early as age 2.

If a child is forced to be too dependent, they may not develop the necessary controls for their own behavior. These people are in constant need of supervision, opinion and guidance from others. If this support system Is interrupted, the person has no mechanism built in to cope with even small problems or questions.

If a child is taught to be too independent at an early age, it can foster feelings of fear and inadequacy. An independent child sometimes feels that no one supports them because no one cares about them. This can lead to frustration and lack of self-esteem.

Inconsistent parenting can lead to a child who is constantly striving to gain approval and is always unsure as to what is expected. When approval is not gained, the spirit can be crushed and this can lead to despair and lack of self worth.

Greek philosophers discussed the question of suicide at great length. Homer and other Greeks before 700 BC thought of suicide as being good and admirable. Later, they began to think of it as a political offense because it deprived the state of a citizen. Socrates, Plato and Aristotle were against suicide except in cases of extreme poverty, sorrow, or disgrace.

There are few instances of suicide in the Bible, and those that can be found are reported as fact, without ethical or moral judgment involved. It wasn’t until the time of the early church that it became an important religious issue. Many people thought it would gain them a better place in Heaven to be killed for their faith, and would then go and do something to insure their own death. St. Augustine was forced to take the position that suicide was an affront to God. Martyrdom was too easily “faked” and too many people were trying to buy their way into Heaven. As time went on, the church took an increasingly strong position against suicide. Unfortunately, even after thousands of years of argument, the church is still greatly divided on the issue. Some believe that suicide is always wrong and sinful, some believe that it is honorable, but most believe that the surrounding circumstances must be understood before judging the act.

Although suicide is not generally looked on in favor, there are certain things that are looked at to decide the morality of the issue. The severity and immediacy of these triggers may be taken into account to gauge competence. Could drugs have caused irrational behavior? Was the motive behind the suicide despair, anger, spite, hopelessness, etc.? What was the person’s frame of mind at the time? Were they competent to make a rational decision? (It is widely believed that even a normally rational person can be pushed to the point of “temporary insanity” by health issues, relationship issues, loss, etc). If a person was unable to make a rational decision at the time of suicide, few people believe them to be accountable for their actions.

Assuming these factors are weighed and the person is found to have been accountable at the time of death, many people feel that suicide is a cowardly act, which seeks the easy way out and is therefore a violation of a high ethical standard. Others believe that suicide is a basic right; that a person’s life is their own to be death with as they see fit.

The Old Testament records six suicides and the New Testament, only one. None of them seem to make value judgements on the act:

Judges 9:51 But there was a strong tower within the city, and all the people of the city fled to it, all the men and women, and shut themselves in; and they went to the roof of the tower.

52 And Abimelech came to the tower, and fought against it, and drew near to the door of the tower to burn it with fire.

53 And a certain woman threw an upper millstone upon Abimelech's head, and crushed his skull.

54 Then he called hastily to the young man his armor-bearer, and said to him, "Draw your sword and kill me, lest men say of me, `A woman killed him.'" And his young man thrust him through, and he died.

55 And when the men of Israel saw that Abimelech was dead, they departed every man to his home

Judges 16:23 Now the lords of the Philistines gathered to offer a great sacrifice to Dagon their god, and to rejoice; for they said, "Our god has given Samson our enemy into our hand."

24 And when the people saw him, they praised their god; for they said, "Our god has given our enemy into our hand, the ravager of our country, who has slain many of us."

25 And when their hearts were merry, they said, "Call Samson, that he may make sport for us." So they called Samson out of the prison, and he made sport before them. They made him stand between the pillars;

26 and Samson said to the lad who held him by the hand, "Let me feel the pillars on which the house rests, that I may lean against them."

27 Now the house was full of men and women; all the lords of the Philistines were there, and on the roof there were about three thousand men and women, who looked on while Samson made sport.

28 Then Samson called to the LORD and said, "O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be avenged upon the Philistines for one of my two eyes."

29 And Samson grasped the two middle pillars upon which the house rested, and he leaned his weight upon them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other.

30 And Samson said, "Let me die with the Philistines." Then he bowed with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords and upon all the people that were in it. So the dead whom he slew at his death were more than those whom he had slain during his life.

31 Then his brothers and all his family came down and took him and brought him up and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the tomb of Manoah his father. He had judged Israel twenty years.

1 Samuel 31:1 Now the Philistines fought against Israel; and the men of Israel fled before the Philistines, and fell slain on Mount Gilboa.

2 And the Philistines overtook Saul and his sons; and the Philistines slew Jonathan and Abinadab and Malchishua, the sons of Saul.

3 The battle pressed hard upon Saul, and the archers found him; and he was badly wounded by the archers.

4 Then Saul said to his armor-bearer, "Draw your sword, and thrust me through with it, lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and make sport of me." But his armor-bearer would not; for he feared greatly. Therefore Saul took his own sword, and fell upon it.

5 And when his armor-bearer saw that Saul was dead, he also fell upon his sword, and died with him.

6 Thus Saul died, and his three sons, and his armor-bearer, and all his men, on the same day together.

2 Samuel 17:1 Moreover Ahithophel said to Absalom, "Let me choose twelve thousand men, and I will set out and pursue David tonight.

2 I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged, and throw him into a panic; and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down the king only,

3 and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride comes home to her husband. You seek the life of only one man, and all the people will be at peace."

4 And the advice pleased Absalom and all the elders of Israel.

5 Then Absalom said, "Call Hushai the Archite also, and let us hear what he has to say."

6 And when Hushai came to Absalom, Absalom said to him, "Thus has Ahithophel spoken; shall we do as he advises? If not, you speak."

7 Then Hushai said to Absalom, "This time the counsel which Ahithophel has given is not good."

23 When Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his ass, and went off home to his own city. And he set his house in order, and hanged himself; and he died, and was buried in the tomb of his father.

I Kings:15 In the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah, Zimri reigned seven days in Tirzah. Now the troops were encamped against Gibbethon, which belonged to the Philistines,

16 and the troops who were encamped heard it said, "Zimri has conspired, and he has killed the king"; therefore all Israel made Omri, the commander of the army, king over Israel that day in the camp.

17 So Omri went up from Gibbethon, and all Israel with him, and they besieged Tirzah.

18 And when Zimri saw that the city was taken, he went into the citadel of the king's house, and burned the king's house over him with fire, and died,

19 because of his sins which he committed, doing evil in the sight of the LORD, walking in the way of Jeroboam, and for his sin which he committed, making Israel to sin.

Matthew 27:1 When morning came, all the chief priests and the elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death;

2 and they bound him and led him away and delivered him to Pilate the governor.

3 When Judas, his betrayer, saw that he was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders,

4 saying, "I have sinned in betraying innocent blood." They said, "What is that to us? See to it yourself."

5 And throwing down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed; and he went and hanged himself.

6 But the chief priests, taking the pieces of silver, said, "It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, since they are blood money."

7 So they took counsel, and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in.

THE GRIEVING PROCESS

Healthy grief management includes expressing feelings, remembering the good and the bad, accepting the reality of death, experiencing one’s own value as an individual as separated from the deceased, and rediscovering meaning in one’s own life.

Grief is a process that is different for each person. Each stage lasts a different length of time and has a different intensity level depending on the individuals involved and their relationship with the deceased. Each person must, however, pass through all these stages.

In general, the stages are:

Shock—disbelief, emotional numbness, occasional outbreaks of pain and tears, frequent lack of awareness of what is going on around you and difficulty thinking.

Control—“holding it together” for the sake of others, keeping busy in order to avoid feeling, difficulty making decisions, distancing self from others, sense of unreality, feeling empty.

Yearning—intense, painful longing for the deceased, dreams, hallucinations, identification of behaviors and places with the deceased, anger, withdrawing, apathy, self-centeredness, and idealization of the deceased.

Disorganization—less intense than yearning, reconnecting to the rest of the world, helplessness, inability to see hope for the future, self reproach and thoughts of your own death.

Reorganization—removing your energy from the deceased and the relationship and transferring it to something in the present instead of the past, seeing the present as meaningful and the future as hopeful.

While some of these stages may be completely dealt with in a matter of days, and a sense of normalcy may be reached in weeks or months; it is not unusual for a grieving person to revisit some of the stages for a year or more after a death.

Pain and anger are normal during the grieving process. These feelings need to be expressed and dealt with. In cases of sudden death and suicide, the stages can be more painful and take longer to get through. There is normally anger at the deceased, anger at God, and blame placed on others and self. Denying or repressing these feelings will stop a person from completing the stages of grief and getting on with their life. While these feelings are normal, they are very harmful to both individuals and families if not dealt with in an open and supportive manner. Friends and family members need to be understanding and supportive of people who are at different stages of acceptance; and frequent conversations, or “comparing of notes” can be helpful to move people forward.